Empty and depression, both are killing me

I really have no idea what to write but I feel like I want to write something. I think there's something missing in my life now. You know, you don't really know how to describe it, but you know that your heart is trying to tell you something. You're neither really in a state of euphoria nor suicidal madness. It's empty. Empty.... and I fucking hate this feeling. It makes me feel weak.
I feel ashamed of myself. I know I have to change. People, pls forgive me. I'm not a good friend. I shall change myself, be a better person. God, help me..

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